Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?”

So the first man replies: “Well, for a while I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn’t reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, [...] Continue Reading…

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well … not really first day of school . it was more like the second week of my first highschool year . i didn’t knew my classmates all that good and everything and everyone was jumpy around school .

you know how it is , right ? you don’t really know what or when to say it . you have no idea what the heck is up with your pants . you have no idea what classes you have and who you should be friends with . ultimately you’re just a little nail spinning in a dark bucket , hoping for a ray of light .

so i’m touching the ground around me and just hoping for the best .

one day the parents we’re supposed to come for a parent-teacher meeting and i was just hanging in front of my classroom with a classmate . and we’re just blabbing about games [...] Continue Reading…

remember when , as a kid , you thought some sort of boogie man waited under your bed to grab you by the legs and do god knows what to you ?

well i did . in fact i had a serious case of nychtophobia . and not the usual stuff caused by some scary movie . no . the real deal with vertigo’s and hallucinations and all that . it was pretty creepy and it took me a few good years to get over it . i think i managed to give it the slip when i was about 13 years old .

anyways … the cool thing about this phobia is that it renders you useless in the face of darkness . it alters your state of mind and it basically plays with your worst fears .

one christmas , i was 11 years old at the time , my [...] Continue Reading…

well … i once was a stupid little kid … and part of being a stupid little kind means being able to get embarrassed easily . so one of my problems as a kid was that i had a hard time using public toilets . a really hard time . which is kind of weird given the fact that i had no problem peeing in the great outdoors . i mean .. give me a tree and a narrow angle and i’m out there baby .

one friday , and i remember this vividly , i was about 2 hours from getting off school ( it was 3 pm , i was finishing my classes at 4:45 pm ) and this monster urge to pee came to me . i felt it creeping turning and spinning my groins . it was monumental .

but … i couldn’t pee at school . [...] Continue Reading…